Dear Aunt Bea,
A dear friend recently proposed to me. I can't say ‘yes’ truly, so I won't say it at all. He’ll see that I'm right, by-and-by, and thank me for it—but oh, he won’t be reasonable now.
His birthday is next week, and our families are very close. There would be remarks from my sisters if I neglected to mark the occasion. But—what card could celebrate the friendship without encouraging his hopes? What on earth would I write?
I shall always be fond of him, very fond indeed, as a friend, but I'll never marry him. Please help me nudge things back towards friendship.
Sincerely,
Jo
![Tiffanie Andrews art Tiffanie Andrews art](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0a3f9dd2-e9b7-4f88-818a-eddf44670466_2520x2520.png)
Dear Jo,
What a difficult situation. I see why it is hard to find a card—you feel “worse than strangers” right now, as Jane Austen put it in Persuasion, yet you care deeply about each other.
Nothing trite will do…nothing that implies he should feel celebratory…humor may be tricky…let’s aim for beauty.
Find a card that is either blank or says simply “Happy Birthday”. The prettier the better. Perhaps nature, something awe-inspiring rather than cuddly. No chipmunks; think glaciers and deep caverns instead.
For an inscription, I’d try “With warm wishes for the year ahead.” If that doesn’t fit, there’s always, “Here’s to you.”
Best regards,
Aunt Bea