Mother’s Day 2023 is Sunday, May 12th in the US, which means you should mail your card by Monday the 6th at the latest, which probably means you should brave the card aisle, get out your art supplies, or order a card online…now, actually. Yeah. Afraid so.
This is your annual reminder to be kind to yourself when cultural expectations ram into your personal baggage.
This is your other annual reminder that if writing a card (or not-writing a card) to your mother is hard on you, write a second card thanking someone for their role in your life.
I’m going to try and anticipate all the reasons you’re grinding your teeth about this holiday, and when I miss yours, please holler at me in the comments. Multiple exclamation points encouraged.
Or if you’d like to try your hand at strongly implying but not stating your needs in a classic Midwestern-mom kind of way, in honor of the holiday, I’d never tell you to do that but the comments section is open for you, any time.
As always, the formula for success is beauty + vagueness. Artist-made cards and cards sold by small fancy gift shops are often more effective in tricky situations, and I’ve got a bunch of suggestions below. The Amazon links are affiliate links; the independent links are just fantastic.
If you hope things get better with your mom
First up, bridge cards! If you love someone very much and are looking for ways to reach out to them, if you are hoping (not just wishing) that things will improve between you, you are looking for a bridge.
![4 greeting cards with warm-but-limited inscriptions, like "I'll always be your tech support" (card 2).](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0bbe5f3e-1d6a-4fa1-af78-37728733ec12_600x737.webp)
![4 greeting cards with warm-but-limited inscriptions, like "I'll always be your tech support" (card 2).](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1566412a-b12b-4fd0-bfc9-aa45b1e12bec_600x723.webp)
![4 greeting cards with warm-but-limited inscriptions, like "I'll always be your tech support" (card 2).](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe0c46ce0-b1ca-4de0-8ad7-23c42db8ab6a_600x710.webp)
![4 greeting cards with warm-but-limited inscriptions, like "I'll always be your tech support" (card 2).](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F20f0965b-824b-4cd3-84c5-b23f05e34e80_1100x1100.webp)
Clockwise from top left: one / two / three / four
Inscriptions might be about one small thing you find to compliment, or one true beautiful thing you can hope for in the year ahead:
To someone who inspires me.
Happy Mother’s Day to the fiercest negotiator I know. Here’s to watching that car salesman quake in his boots. xoxo!
Thanks for not strangling me when you taught me how to drive. Hey, I even got compliments on my parallel parking this week.
If you wish your mom would leave you alone
After bridges, we have barriers. (Aka shields, but barriers was suggested in the comments and the alliteration is great.) These cards keep your thoughts private while preserving you from the amount of criticism it is possible to be preserved from.
![Four greeting cards with no words or neutral phrases, like "The first tattoo I'm going to get will say: Don't forget to put your dishes in the dishwasher. Happy mother's day."](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdc151289-5010-405d-ac77-32de281f6524_1024x1024.webp)
![Four greeting cards with no words or neutral phrases, like "The first tattoo I'm going to get will say: Don't forget to put your dishes in the dishwasher. Happy mother's day."](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fafccce7a-c7b9-4a4d-be69-8c3528ecd2b3_248x300.jpeg)
![Four greeting cards with no words or neutral phrases, like "The first tattoo I'm going to get will say: Don't forget to put your dishes in the dishwasher. Happy mother's day."](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F80b96edb-de84-4ed8-a3fe-4626bce6a5b0_300x300.jpeg)
![Four greeting cards with no words or neutral phrases, like "The first tattoo I'm going to get will say: Don't forget to put your dishes in the dishwasher. Happy mother's day."](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3e215331-3790-4503-9eac-a51438f0c3ac_1024x1024.webp)
Clockwise from top left: one / two / three / four
For these cards, look for ways to focus on the day itself, and don’t be afraid of implying more warmth than you state.
To a one-of-a-kind mom.
There’s just nobody like a mom. Happy Mother’s Day!
Wishing you a very special Mother’s Day. / Here’s hoping you feel pampered all day. / May your day be filled with joy.
It’s Mother’s Day!
Here’s to you!
If you need a card without the word “Mom”
Some parents are nonbinary, some are step-parents, some are single parents parenting so hard they deserve a card on both Mother’s and Father’s day. Here are some beautiful blank cards, along with gender-nonspecific parental snark.
![Three greeting cards with no words or non-gendered text](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb27997cc-ded0-4ce3-96b1-11a2b5ee5d3e_300x294.webp)
![Three greeting cards with no words or non-gendered text](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbcb9894c-df51-4934-9715-0675c3bdf5a4_1024x1024.webp)
![Three greeting cards with no words or non-gendered text](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7804ae3b-43da-426c-bf36-3e846e9ce870_300x296.webp)
If your wish for a magic genie would be “a gift Mom would actually like, for once”
When a card is not enough, there’s gifts: also stressful. Classic ideas are local flowers, brunch together, candles, luxurious lotions, potted plants, etc. If you are looking for a gift and the obvious answers aren’t working, first sit with the thought that maybe there is no correct answer, then see if you can live with any of these alternatives:
a donation to a charity that she likes, or that reminds you of her (bonus: if she hates it, you’ve still added a drop of good in the world)
Heifer International feeds the hungry
Doctors without Borders provides medical care
The YWCA helps women leave abusive situations
Her local food bank, library, animal shelter, etc.
a gift card to something she likes that no one else in the family does, like a yarn store or garden center, to hold space for her interests. Bonus points if you go with her.
and see also last year’s post, on Mother’s Day gifts when you have procrastinated til 72 hrs before you see her
Remember to holler at me in the comments about anything I missed.
Have a great one, friends.